“You’ve destroyed me”
Those words pierced the air. I remember looking at my boyfriend, Brandon, as he half-smiled after that statement. I wondered if he was really only joking, because there is serious truth to that sentence.
I destroyed him.
Not in a way that would require emotional trauma therapy. (I’m not that ruthless) Nevertheless, he was right. I did destroy him. He upended his life by following me to Japan. Before we started dating, he held pride in his job as a Bering Sea Fisherman. He bought a brand new truck (Gracie)(Yes, his truck has a name. Don’t make it weird.), and was looking at buying a house. All of these seemed like logical progressive steps towards being a successful adult.
And then I came into the picture.
Me, a 23-year-old whirlwind who makes a lot of mistakes. Me, someone who has relocated every 3-5 months for the last 5 years. Me, a woman whose previous boss and coworkers nicknamed “Hippie Flower Child”. Let’s be honest; I plan my life the way I plan my dinner: whatever looks good first. I’m a vagabond, a nomad, and an adventure junkie. I totally lack balance.
In less than a year, Brandon has quit his job, dropped the lease on his residence, sold most of his belongings, and stored his truck. He’s gone from a highly successful 25-year-old Seatteite to a jobless, semi-homeless vagabond like me. He’s shed all stability in his life.
At the risk of putting words in his mouth, I’m going to admit that I don’t think he’s been happier. I’m living my truth, and our lives together seem to be at an all-time high.
“Why would anyone give up that stability?”, “Get that dude to a mental hospital ASAP.”, “He must not be thinking with his head.” Yeah, we’ve heard it all. None of it rings true. Here’s why:
While he might have joked that I destroyed him, I think he really meant that I was a catalyst. Together, we stopped being enthralled with material things and status-related goods. We began living with intention, which meant turning off auto-pilot. We plan out our next month, year, and even two-year goals together. (Which is totally necessary because neither of us have a place to live in 2 months when we leave Japan…..!!) In fact, we made relationship contracts to measure our success together and as individuals.
Don’t misunderstand me: I’m not taking credit for his transformation. I wouldn’t date someone that had such different ideals of the future with the intent of changing that person. However, I know that Brandon is living his life the way he wants to, even if it means giving up a safety net. This is the life he wants to lead, and I just happen to share the perspective.
I still don’t think I have it all. In fact, I know I don’t. But I certainly wasn’t happy with the status-quo before my international move. I see that pattern in Brandon’s story as well. There’s a lesson to be learned here. You don’t have to do what I did. You don’t have to live like Brandon and I do. But for God’s sake, turn off your autopilot- and figure out what’s stopping you from achieving your own potential.
Now that I’ve inspired you (I’ll give myself a pat on the back), Inspire me back! What have you done to achieve your goals? Where are you now? Send me an email or put that ish below in the comments.
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